The Big Benford Show

Love is an interesting word because it’s a word we all know but can’t describe because it has so many meanings to just one person. It’s also become a word we’ve come to throw around hap-hazardously, or do we? Why am I choosing now to write about this? Honestly, I’m not sure. I was thinking about a friend I miss and started thinking about love.

I use the word love often but I’m not sure that I don’t mean it each time. Okay, double negatives…let me be more clear. Each time I use the word love, I think I truly mean it in one way or another and I think it’s legitimate.

I love my family. That’s a given. But I also have people in my life that I feel I’m connected to like they are family and I love them unconditionally as I love my immediate family. I would do anything for them, if it is at all possible.

I love my students and I try to tell them often how much I care for them. I don’t have kids of my own and I’m not really sure that I will. I think many of us understand how band is like a family in its own right and although these kids aren’t my own, I try to look at them as they are family and be fair in that nature. It’s hard when you have 180+ kids in your family, too! It’s like I go to work everyday with my nieces and nephews. It’s an interesting dynamic and I think they appreciate the love I show them in my teaching and in my guiding them through their teenage (and then some) years.

Here’s the tricky one - being in love with someone romantically. This is the one that confuses and hangs up many men and women over time. There are several men I’ve dated that I’ve truly loved. And each one still holds a special place in my heart. I feel the love I felt for one is not quite the same as for another. I believe (as do many magazines and psychiatrists) women and men feel love and show love in very, very different ways. Unfortunately, this difference can create very uncomfortable lives for some. Ironic, isn’t it - love creates uncomfort. I also find it ironic how love can cause fear as well. But I try to overcome my fears with honesty.

I don’t consider myself to be severely selfish in nature. There have been times when I feel I’m so filled with my love for someone (usually not the romantic kind) that I just have to say it - “I love you”. Sometimes the words are returned and sometimes it’s not. This is one of the selfish things I do, I don’t say it for your benefit, I say it for mine.

But regardless, if I tell you I love you, I mean it. Our relationship fills my heart and I just can’t help letting you know.

So why did I write all this? It filled my brain and I had to let it all out. I guess another selfish moment. Have a wonderful day!

Love you, mean it!
~C

From the White House Blog:

President Barack Obama led a Kennedy Center crowd in a performance of “Happy Birthday,” capping a star-studded musical birthday tribute to ailing Sen. Edward M. Kennedy.

The Massachusetts Democrat was honored at the Kennedy Center at an event Sunday night hosted by comedian Bill Cosby. Actresses Lauren Bacall and Bernadette Peters, singer James Taylor and conductor John Williams were among those who performed.

My question is, who did John Williams conduct? Or what did he perform? From what’s written here (where I ended was the end of the paragraph about performers), it looks like ol’ John got up on stage and conducted as his performance…maybe with no one being conducted. I find it quite a funny mental image…

I’ve never seen anything like it…other than for the love of Texas. As I watched today’s Presidential Inauguration, and they showed the massive crowd gathered in Washington, DC, I noticed the Nation’s new obsession - Barack Obama. His name and image was on so many things - shirts, hats, blankets, everything! I don’t know if there has ever been an inauguration with such rock star paraphernalia.

Then again, I can’t remember the last time I so wanted to not miss the inauguration. This was most certainly a significant event. I only heard of one teacher on this campus who turned on the TV in his/her classroom but refused to un-mute the sound.

I won’t blog a blow-by-blow opinion of the ceremony but I have to say that quartet was amazing. It truely takes professionals to maintain that tuning in that weather! I wish Aretha Franklin wouldn’t have ventured so far away from the original tune as she sang “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”. My co-worker Brian pointed out something very interesting. In the National Anthem, most singers will (poorly) take the upper octave on the word “free” as the song finishes up. The Navy Singers probably had several sopranos very capable of doing such but chose not to. A very wise and musical decision on their part, in our opinion.

I liked that Obama-Biden wore red and blue ties. And the rest of the Obamas were dressed very tastefully, yet not boring at all. I found irony in Hillary’s choice of a bright blue dress-coat. Isn’t that the same shade of blue that Monica’s investigated dress was??? I digress.

I guess the only other comment/question I have is, what was going through Former President Bush’s mind as President Obama spoke of the need for change and such for the future? No, not monkey or dumb people jokes. Seriously. I know that in his farewell address, Bush said he was proud of his accomplishments (or something - I missed that address) and all but everytime the cameras went to him, he looked very uncomfortable. His approval ratings are low. Probably not an easy seat to be sitting in.

Back to the obsession. Have you seen their family portrait? They’re a beautiful family. I just wish Michelle would’ve allowed her natural smile in this picture. I think it’s very pretty!

For a couple of years in college (yes, I wrote years), I was a psychology major. This is the type of experiment that interested me. Unfortunately, the psych department at SWT wasn’t quite what I was looking for so I changed majors (again). Anywho, this article about Joshua Bell playing as a street performer in L’Enfant Plaza in Washington DC is very interesting.

The experiment was sponsored by The Washington Post and was to see if classical music played by a professional violinist outside of a music hall would be as appreciated as if you were to pay $100 a ticket for the same (or less, even) performance. You never know what kind of beauty you pass in your daily lives. Take a moment and look (or listen)!

Thanks to Connie and her brother Ski for the article!

…’cause I just have to write it down somewhere. I have to stop obsessing with it. It’s okay and it’ll be okay. *sigh*

Okay, I’ll feel better eventually. There’s nothing wrong, it’s probably all in my head. Unfortunately, I can’t get it out of my head so I can not obsess about nothing. Some days, I hate being a girl!

If you’re forced to read this because it pops up in your RSS reader or something, I apologize.

I know what you may be thinking and no, this isn’t going to be a happy heart valentines message…nor is it an angry single woman one. It just seems like this Valentines thing is being a little more brought up with me lately and I’m not sure why. Maybe people are getting sick of “Single Cathy” or (more probably) just want to see me completely happy. I’m not sure that I need someone in my life to help me live a happy life but I certainly won’t skoff at someone who would like to share my ups and downs with me. But, it doesn’t seem to be in the cards right now so what can I do? So, I decided about 5 or so years ago that Valentines wasn’t something I wanted to waste time or money on. Maybe it’s because I really am a romantic person that I don’t agree with the idea that you wait for ONE DAY to show your love and appreciation for the special people in your life. And I know that there are plenty of people out there that show their sentiments on a regular basis as well as celebrate Valentines Day and that’s all well and good. I just don’t find a need to do so myself. Just thought I’d get that off my chest. It’s really not aimed at anyone in particular (not even you, DMJ).

Love you, Mean it!
~C